bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
