I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
