would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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