I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
