my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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