PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
