yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I need moral support for this bender
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
