How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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