my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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