I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
