sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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