I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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