They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
