isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
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