remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
