last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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