Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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