I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
This house was built for laser tag.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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