I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
