then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize