sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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