Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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