she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
