Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
