In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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