He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I enjoy the company of your penis
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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