Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
