She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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