At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
