Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Randomize
