i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It's never too late to be topless.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
