I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
