I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
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