FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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