i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
