i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize