Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize