Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
