nut hugger
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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