do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
last night I used snow as a chaser
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
