I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
