I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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