So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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