I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I could have mohawked her pubes.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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