I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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