I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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