I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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