I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
