His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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