hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
