I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
