Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
