What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
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Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
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we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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