it was like his penis was on wheels.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
