i just wanna soil my oats bro
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize