I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
