I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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