you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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