At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
