my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Everclear isn't food dammit
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
