Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
