ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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