Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
