I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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