Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
