Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Blood and glitter go together right?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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