he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize