Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
