marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Found your dick twin last night
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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